What we believe about ourselves and situations creates our experience, be it positive or painful and negative. Have you ever had thoughts that you were being judged or that you were not good enough, so why bother trying? Perhaps you work really, really hard because you believe that only ‘hard work’ brings success. That taking a rest or time off means you are lazy. Perhaps this ‘work-a-holic-ethic’ is impacting on your family and your relationships.
These are all beliefs based in ‘error thinking’, thoughts we are emotionally attached to that we make real or true based on little or no evidence to support their validity. We engage in habitual patterns of action based on this faulty program even if the outcomes are unhealthy for both ourselves and those we love, (think of any any addictive behaviour or addictive/obsessive thinking pattern).
Albert Eliss said ‘irrational beliefs are at the core of psychological problems’. Pain and suffering evolves from our belief around how things should or could be rather than observing what the reality is and responding accordingly.
So how do we shift our experiences and intercept this faulty program before it puts us on a path of action we know wont end well, will be painful, will be unhealthy physically or emotionally or psychologically?
A skilled coach can help us address the faulty programs and patters and help us critically assess the beliefs we have about ourselves and the filters we use to process information. Another way is to begin a meditation, mindfulness and breath work (pranayama) practice on a consistent basis. These techniques help us o create the space to observe our thoughts, feelings and responses and help us slow reaction time down long enough to be able to consciously choose our behaviour and what is happening in our internal world. Like any skill this takes practice and can take time as we build our awareness and refine our reactions to situations and people.
The key is small steps and to start, with the intent to commit daily to these small steps that you can then build over time.
This is a 5min Breath Awareness Exercise:
- Sit comfortably
- Close they eyes and turn your attention to your breath- In & Out, notice the body sensations and movements for 3-5 breath cycles
- Now begin to draw the breath toward you, Inhale as though its far in the distance, as you Exhale send the breath back to the point far in the distance, repeat, for 3-5 breaths
- Release the pattern of management of the breath and notice your mind, body and sensations as the occur.
- Gently open the eyes and slowly absorb your environment as you do so.
- Practice this technique when you feel you need space to slow the mind or thoughts or perhaps you need creative space to write, paint, play, move.
*For information on Holistic Coaching services offered, prices and session options please message Sara directly. *